just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
