God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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