I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
