Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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