Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
