if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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