My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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