you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
