This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
