If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We named our party play list daddy issues
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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