I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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