she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she looked like the before picture.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
