i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
