FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
