Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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