I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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