So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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