we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
