By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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