I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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