when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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