yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
