I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
