WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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