the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Mom said you looked used
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
