So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Damn victory sex feels great
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
