Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
