I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
