we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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