god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
