so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
