i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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