i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
