Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
