I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think your dad took our porno
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
