Its about making memories worth repressing
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize