Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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