I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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