I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
