I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
