I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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