Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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