Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
