I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Randomize
