the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
