yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
