I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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