I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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