laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
