have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
