maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
