I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
