Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
