Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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