it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
