please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
