Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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