I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
