I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This is the high leading the old right now
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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