happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
