We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize