I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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