wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
