i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
