oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
