We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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