Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
