A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
